Make Way - For Differences

We are wired to belong and to connect. We are attracted to others and we find ourselves interacting with one another for many different reasons and via many different means. Our connection might be: Emotional, we are Joined by grief, joy, fun. Or Mental, we have a shared interest, discussion, commonality. Or Physical, we like their smile, strength, beauty. Or Social, we are in the same friendship circle, activity, club. Or Spiritual, we might have a preferred faith, ritual, community. Having commonality brings us together but what about our differences?

Listen to the varied and interesting stories that couples can tell about how they met. They connected for many different reasons, maybe even a combination of the ones above. We find connection through sameness and we find ourselves connected due to our differences. After all, opposites attract. Don’t they?

All relationships encounter strengths and limitations, personal traits habits and behaviours that are foreign to us? Two people forming a couple relationship basically bring two different sets of problems. Two different ways of being that become more evident after the honeymoon period. Especially the annoying ones.

Please don’t take offence, but, we are all annoying. The sooner we realise this and accept it the better we will get along. Many problems are a result of us telling someone else how they should have done something. There are so many ways to do most things. Just let the other person figure it out and be curious not judgmental about the different way they did it. Hold your differences lightly if you can. Pick your battles.

Maintain your connection with kind interaction, regular checking in and appreciation. Name your strengths and acknowledge your differences They might appear to be limitations at times but they might also surprise you. Embrace your difference, be you and allow this for your partner too. The interplay might teach you, enlighten you and bond you, differences and all.